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Sunday, April 10, 2011

Emo-ing


I know I've been emo these days. Not only these days. I think it started few weeks ago. I wonder why everything seems going on with the wrong path. About my family member, my studies, my friendship, my love matter. It's just everything. And I wonder how long could I bear it? Do I really have the ability to bear it?

You might see me smiling or even laughing. But I'm not happy. Totally NOT. I feel so aimless and tired with my current life. I tried to escape and I tried to really enjoy myself in everything I do. But when I got alone, there's a sound deep in my heart asking :"Why did you do such thing?" Why do I exist on this world while everything I've done is going to hurt those people.

If there's no ME on this world, there wouldn't be anyone who is going to show black face or even quarrel with HER. If there's no ME on this world, there wouldn't be anyone who is going to hurt HIM for so long. If there's no ME on this world, there wouldn't be anyone who is going to make HER suffer throughout these years. If there's not ME on this world, I wouldn't get so depressed like what I'm feeling right now. How nice the world would be! Their lives would be so wonderful without me.

I know how emotional and childish I am. And I wonder what take me here? I've forgotten what I have been holding on for so long. And yeah, I hate the current me. A LOT. I hate myself for being so useless. I hate myself for hurting you guys. And I'm not going to beg for you guys to forgive me because I know a girl like me doesn't worth at all. Blame me, hate me, leave me. You decide it. I'm tired to explain anymore.

I'm really sorry...

4 comments:

  1. I don't know you will so EMO.. I really hope that one day you will find out the solutions to solve your problems.. what you need now is TIME. I always face the same problems with you, I mean some sort of similar.. Sometimes seems everything not right. Really hate myself for everything that I did... Don't blame yourself as there are friends who really care for you and really appreciate you as friends.. one day, you can come back with a SMILE face, and say to ME, Huaaaa Siennnnn, I'M SO HAPPY today ! I feel I'm FREE and RELEASED ! Gambateh my dear friend.. (Even though I'm not sure what happen to you, but I know from what you feel now deep inside your heart, you have a good heart..)

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  2. HAHA, after read through sien's comment. feel so funny.=)
    yeah, i agree with sien..someday u will feel free and release from those sucks feelings.
    HER,HIM, and HER...Let them do what they wish to.
    They will find something precious on u one day.
    *Pray to our GOD, HE will always hear u, and comfort u*
    And, u meant alot to me!My dear, without u, my live wont be so wonderful (why u want force me say so disgusting sentence to u ha? LOL)
    Anyways, what i want to say is, u are such an important friend to us.
    Smile Always..Or we can have "Lady talk" with u..to cheer u up ma.. =D
    你很重要啦~我们有在在乎这件事诶!=D

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  3. 别想太多咯。人想多了就越不开心咯。=)

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  4. Miss Joan, so funny meh my comment ? =_=
    Ya lo, you also mean alot to me ! I'm really glad to have you as my friend.. 这件事,我也有在在乎哦!

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